Friday, June 13, 2003
=how to be generally annoying=

1. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
2. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
3. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
4. Don't use any punctuation marks
5. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
6. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
7. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
8. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
9. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.
10. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".
11. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
12. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
14. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"
15. Sing along at the opera.
16. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
17. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"
20. Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".
21. Ask 800 operators for dates.
22. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".
23. Ask to "interface" with someone.
24. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".
25. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!"
26. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
27. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
28. Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.
29. Chew on pens that you've borrowed. .
30. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.
31. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
32. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
33. Drum on every available surface.
34. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
35. Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot".
36. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
37. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
38. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
39. Honk and wave to strangers.
40. Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket." .
41. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
42. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
43. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
44. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
45. Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-cyrillic-landscape mode.
46. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
47. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
48. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
49. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
50. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
51. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
52. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
53. Mow your lawn with scissors.
54. Name your dog "Dog".
55. Never break eye contact.
56. Never make eye contact.
57. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
58. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
59. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
60. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
61. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. .
62. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
63. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
64. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
65. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
66. Set alarms for random times.
67. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
68. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
69. Sing along at the opera.
70. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
71. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
72. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
73. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
74. Wear a LOT of cologne.
75. Wear your pants backwards.
76. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
77. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
78. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
79. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
80. dont use any punctuation either
only type in lowercase

Wednesday, June 11, 2003
tis is dedicated ot germz n all my other frens:

I'm not your average type of gal
I'm gonna show the world
The strength in me
tt sometimes they can't see
I'm about to switch my style
And soon things may get wild
But I will prove
I can conquer anything

So from my head to toe
I'm taking full control
I'll make it on my own
This time

Better watch out
Going for the knockout
And I won't stop
Till I'm on top now
Not gonna give up
Until I get what's mine
Better check that
I'm about to upset
And I'm glad now
So you better step back
I'm taking over
So watch me shine

*grinz*

|you walked away yesterday| 4:20 PM|
Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I'll be wishing you will call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do..
I'm such a fool
For you

I can't take it
What am I waiting for?
I'm still breaking
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could be for
I hate you but I love you
I can't stop thinking of you
It's true
I'm stuck on you

-on the jukebox-
stuck: stacey orrico

|you walked away yesterday| 2:54 PM|

What's your usual [mood]?

*smiles*
|you walked away yesterday| 2:34 PM|

Tuesday, June 10, 2003
i don't noe what's worth fighting for
or why i ve to scream
i don't noe why i insticate
and sae wad i dun mean
i dun noe how i got tis way
i noe it's not alright
so i'm
breaking the habit
tonight

-on the jukebox-
breaking the habit: linkin park

|you walked away yesterday| 3:08 PM|

Monday, June 09, 2003
went to bukit batok library todae to do sum community work
yeah. all for the sake of points.
and sum dumb award.
was shelving and straightening
n my knees hurt
i kept toppling books.
n sum ppl juz kip luffing at me

got scolded by tt fat libriaian too!
*hmpH* and storms off.
oh well.
returned eeli's book!!!
wOw! yeah.n borrowed a new blk.
[lame]

i want to finish ALL my hols hw.
but it's like so impossible??
*sigh*

i feel free at the moment
though restrained by other factors and stuff
but at least i juz feel free.
yeah.

to germanine's cousin:
congrats for being married?
but erm. if u actually realise. u actually sux.
yeah.
tt guy u ve muz be stolen property?
yeah. which is such a pity.
[ erbx. tis is only for pple who actually understand wad is tis abt]
haha. n stop acting un-wanted?
cos it's really annoying and stuff.
n stop bugging me!
bug ur relative! haha.
[ a release]

{ i am
a little bit insecure
a little bit unconfident
cause u dun understand
i do wad i can
but sumtimes i dun make sense }

-on the jukebox-
faint: linkin park

|you walked away yesterday| 5:49 PM|

Sunday, June 08, 2003
i seemed to be trapped in tis maze
with traps and snares
one wrong move n im gone
everyting ll be gone

can anybody guide me out?
will anybody stop n lend me a hand?
will u. anybody will do.

i feel as if dawn is breaking
i can see a glimmer of hope.

|you walked away yesterday| 7:46 PM|
i feel like im living in a world of deception
who isn't?
at least dose who r concious abt everyting.
it is damn damn scary.
i feel insecure. yeah.

wore a skirt todae.
shocked? yeah.
was forced actually.
cos was celebrating my mum's belated bdae.
so.. she dragged me into my new skirt.
n i tripped. n fell.
totally maluated.
aww. n who cares.
haha.
|you walked away yesterday| 6:52 PM|
erm. basically tis is an apology entry

eeli:
thx for being understanding n eveyting.
n yeah

lynette:
im sorry 4 every misery i caused.
dun be so upset. yeah.
ok. tis sentence is prety ridiculous cos i was the one who caused it.

char:
erm. thx for wad u did.
it was admirable of u. but. yeah

germz:
i ll always take ur advices to heart.
seems like ur advices r true.
n it's damn scary to noe tt it's true
|you walked away yesterday| 6:48 PM|